A healthy romantic relationship is based on mutual respect, trust, equality and communication. Accepting and valuing your partner’s consent is an essential part of this – both the accepting and valuing of YES and the accepting and valuing of NO.

Open, compassionate communication is therefore the foundation of a healthy romantic relationship; it allows partners to talk openly and honestly about their thoughts, feelings, and needs.

Consent Laws

Sri Lankan law also includes provisions on consent under Section 363 of the Penal Code, where the age of consent is set at 16, i.e. the age at which a person is legally able to give informed and voluntary consent to engage in sexual intercourse. The age of consent laws are in place to protect minors from abuse and exploitation, and engaging in sexual intercourse with a girl under the age of 16 is considered ‘statutory rape.’

Unfortunately, the Sri Lankan legal definition of rape is limited to penal-vaginal penetration and therefore the age of consent in relation to statutory rape appears to only apply to girls.

Activists and parents, however, have advocated for the law to also include boys and in 2024 it was reported that

“The Justice Ministry has gazetted amendments to the Penal Code criminalising the rape of male children and ensuring offenders can be given the same maximum prison sentence of 20 years given to those found guilty of raping girls.”

Activists are also calling for the Marital Rape law to be amended as the husband does not need to value the consent of the wife.

“The law that Sri Lanka confirmed to the UN in 2025 was not written in Sri Lanka. It was written in England, in 1736, by a man named Matthew Hale, and it went like this: a husband cannot be guilty of a rape committed by himself upon his lawful wife, for by their mutual matrimonial consent and contract the wife hath given up herself in this kind unto her husband, which she cannot retract. That is not a paraphrase. That is the doctrine of Coverture, and it is the oldest piece of legal plumbing in the Sri Lankan Penal Code, which was not written for Sri Lanka but assembled by Thomas Babington Macaulay for the whole of British India in 1860, applied to Ceylon by the colonial administration, and has been sitting inside our statute books, quietly, ever since, through independence and constitutions and women’s ministries and national action plans and 130,000 domestic violence complaints a year.”

This general sense of male entitlement is reflected in the cases of sexual violence in Sri Lanka, also sadly common on public transport where boys as young as thirteen have been known to rub themselves up against women and girls on our buses and trains. For some, it is a rite of passage within our patriarchal construct, and despite continued campaigns, including those by the current government, perpetrators still struggle to be cognizant of consent.

Consent Education

Activists and educators, including those championing education reform in Sri Lanka have long viewed schools as an ideal space to help build a culture of consent among young people. Comprehensive, age-appropriate approaches to teaching about sex and relationships must necessarily include the building blocks of consent, trust, equality, communication and mutual respect. Education about sex and relationships cannot just be about puberty, prevention of unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections alone. And this discourse is making its way into the mainstream media as evidenced by this Ceylon Today report in February 2026.

“Fostering a culture of consent: Beyond biology, sex education is a tool for social harmony. By teaching the principles of consent and mutual respect, schools can play a direct role in reducing the prevalence of ‘eve – teasing’ and domestic violence. It builds a generation that views the opposite gender as equals rather than objects.”

How do I talk to my partner about consent?

Talking about consent with your partner is an essential step in building a healthy romantic relationship. Consent discussions help establish a shared understanding of each other’s boundaries and desires.

Find a suitable, preferably private time and place where you can both have an open and uninhibited conversation. Do this before you intend to have sex, and preferably before sexual arousal. Remember consent discussions are ongoing conversations, and we need to establish that consent can be withdrawn at any time, even during sex, by using words like “enough,” “stop” and “no.”

Talking about this and laying down ground rules will be helpful to avoid misunderstandings.

If consent is violated at any point, here’s what you can do:

1. Prioritize your safety: If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, leave the place/situation as soon as possible.
2. Communicate clearly: After ensuring you’re safe, tell the person who violated your consent how you feel. Express your discomfort and be firm that your boundaries were not respected.
3. Seek support: Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor to discuss the situation and get support. Consider speaking with a mental health professional, who can provide guidance and support, especially if you are experiencing ongoing emotional distress.
4. Report to authorities: If the violation of consent is related to a crime, illegal activity, or you feel under threat, consider reporting the incident to law enforcment authorities. Police Hotline: 109 and Women’s & Children’s Ministry Emeregency: 1938
5. Seek medical attention: If sexual assault occurs, seek immediate medical attention. If you are concerned about an unwanted pregnancy, get emergency contraception. In the event of unprotected sexual assault, it is also important to get tested for sexually transmitted infections. The police may also refer you to the Judicial Medical Officer [JMO] for an evaluation.
6. Document the incident: If necessary, write down/record the details of the violation, including dates, times, locations, and preserve any relevant communication as evidence.
7. Consider legal action: Depending on the severity of the violation, consult the Sri Lanka Police [Hotline: 109] to better understand options.