By Radika Ekanayake

The Birth of a New Hashtag

The #MeToo campaign was founded in 2007 by Tarana Burke with the intent of building a foundation to enable the recovery of sexual assault survivors in underprivileged communities.

Why do we suddenly care about this? We have social media and Harvey Weinstein to thank for that. The judgment grounds of social media has seen much action and debate this October, with the headlines on Harvey Weinstein’s sexual harassment allegations, having people optimistically hoping this will be the final wake-up call for us to actually do something for all women that have endured and are still suffering from physical and sexual assault.

The spark that set the flame alight on social media came from a tweet posted by actress Alyssa Milano requesting individuals of sexual assault and abuse to post ‘#MeToo’ as their status. This went viral in 24 hours on Twitter and Facebook. Milano’s has said her purpose was to emphasise on the magnitude of the subject and to allow a platform for survivors to share their incidents.

Not only did Milano make me personally awed by the globality of the stories shared, she made me question: how many trending hashtags have we seen on social media and when will we be finally equipped to discontinue the physical and sexual abuse cycle?

Social Media Babble or Real Change?

By now, it surely must be evident that nearly all women on this planet as well as a startling amount of men have been physically or sexually assaulted – be it in the workplace or at home. We know this not because of timely media frenzies on celebrity lives or the CNN and BBC news reports, but because we as women have encountered, listened, and secretly shared such experiences in a patriarchal society. Unfortunately, the sharing of these personal, intimate partner violence stories ends up being just social media babble because society as a whole do not take the necessary steps to tackle the issue. How can the men in our society be more aware of the severity and consequences of physical and sexual abuse if survivors and other men do not voice their beliefs and truths? It is true that no survivor owes anyone their story, but declaring a united front has never failed to make a greater impact on humanity. Why impede now especially on this global concern?

The Value of #MeToo In Sri Lanka

Studies show that 97% of a sample of perpetrators did not receive backlash for their sexual crimes. In addition, another sample of 67% women as opposed to 55% men further acknowledged that ‘in any rape case, one would have to question whether the victim is promiscuous or has a bad reputation,’ and 75% women compared to 79% men reported that ‘some women ask to be raped by the way they dress and behave’. Furthermore, reports suggest cases of rape to be 4393 between 2012-2014, that’s 6 rapes each day. Worse, these are only the statistics of cases reported. Now let us try grasping the sheer magnitude of this national and global concern. Although the judicial system may be accused of failing in the majority of the cases, I refuse to turn a blind eye to every under-reported case of individuals.

Replacing Perspectives

We know there is an elephant in the room, but nobody addresses it,  so allow me to initiate this –

• Have you been catcalled and humiliated on the road and responded to it with ignorance instead of being confrontational?
• Have you experienced or heard of stories where girls have been sexually molested or inappropriately touched on public transport?
• Have you found relatable statements or accounts of sexual harassment but minimized your situation because you didn’t know where your experience belonged on a scale?

Yeah… #MeToo

• Have you ever met anyone that was abused, and was ashamed or afraid to speak about their situation because they feel responsible?

I hate to say it, but #MeToo …

The Effect of Patriarchy

I too like many other women have experienced harassment regardless of location or time of day, and irrespective of my state of mind or my attire. Like every other woman, I find it challenging to voice #MeToo not because it hasn’t occurred to me or due to the complexity of the topic, but because the Sri Lankan patriarchal culture has conditioned the justifications of such incidents.

For example, name an instance where a boy or man in our society has not questioned a woman’s attire, or mode of transport when travelling unaccompanied, and the ‘life-style’ one may conduct in the case of sexual assaults.  Or what about the frequent responses of “she was asking for it”? If it wasn’t clear before, let me clarify: no woman wants to be physically or sexually assaulted.

However, as a woman residing in this country, would you feel safe to confront the majority’s patriarchal outlook? Alternatively, would you perhaps minimize your night activities, cover your body from neck to ankles even in a 32-degree weather, or tolerate regular physical and sexual abuse from your partner without your consent because our patriarchal society expects a woman to not say no? Unfortunately, majority conforms to the latter options out of fear, lack of resources and financial or social support.

Social conformity existed long before Asch’s publications of his experimental study in 1951, which was later incorporated with Albert Bandura’s work on Social Learning (1977). The combination of Bandura’s conclusion of the high influence of role models and nurturing bad behaviour as well as Asch’s study can emphasise how conformity has branched more towards a negative output within society. For example, the Kitty Genovese’s murder in 1964 created the term ‘by-stander effect’ whereby neighbours who witnessed the brutal stabbing of the 28 year old in New York City never informed the authorities or aided in providing information of the murder. This was because, in the event of witnessing the crime, some neighbours’ reactions were to close their windows shut or switch off their lights which was observed by other onlookers, and therefore all witnesses subsequently assumed due to others’ inactions in reporting or helping the woman, that their engagements too would not be of any help.

In my opinion, the lack of reporting of physical and sexual abuse, knowledge surrounding victims, survivors and abusers, diffusion of responsibility in conviction, awareness on the consequences of observation and reinforcement of deviant or criminal behaviour, and conformity to all the above are a few reasons why we as a global population are tactlessly moving one step forward and two steps backward with this matter.

Prevention

It’s time to start being the product of our thoughts and not the product of a dysfunctional system. Therefore, this message goes out to all men and women, young and old, varying sexual orientations and careers; it is naïve for the world to know and remain silent. As Elie Wiesel quoted: “never be silent whenever a human being is enduring suffering and humiliation. We must take sides, but neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented”.

With that being said, I look forward to the day that #MeToo isn’t solely about survivors of physical and sexual assault, rather a powerful statement to the world that survivors or not, we support the same cause

Be part of this proactive change. Be bold and daring. Be the support the next generation needs.

The only way to turn a campaign such as #MeToo into a revolution is to practice what you preach, so, instead of agreeing to the previous statements of victimisation, let’s try starting with;

“I just called out an individual on the street for harassing another person”

“You did? #MeToo!”

Join the cause.

If you are a resident of Sri Lanka and know survivors of past and ongoing physical and sexual harassment who would like to speak to someone, please reach out to Women in Need via their website or call them on 011 471 8585.