Image Credit: Strategy Online 

By Rashika Fazali

Are you a male? Or a female? Could you cease to be either?

Unfortunately, in today’s world, we identify a person by gender; either you’re a male or a female, and not so much by a human being’s identity. We talk about humanity without understanding that it also applies to us. We often extend our support to male or female rights without realizing that we should fight for human rights instead. Our rights shouldn’t vary or depend on our gender or sexual identity. Why? Because the difference between a male and a female is merely biological.

For example, if you see a person with short hair wearing baggy clothes without the mannerisms of a female and add to that without the ‘typical’ femininity which is often depicted by the curves and the sensual aspect of a woman’s body, you are most likely to think that this person is a male. But what if I tell you he’s actually a biological female who also identifies as female? Why did we think she’s a male? In our minds and from what we’ve learned, firstly, if one is not a female, then one should be a male. Secondly, society judges and decides if a person is a male or female in the physical sense through the body structure, clothes, and mannerisms. If you take out the femininity in a female and the masculinity in a male, you are left with nothing. From the exterior, how would you judge when there is nothing to judge? The most obvious thing would be to look inwards then. That’s when we realize that what makes us a person is not our gender, whether we are male or female in a physical sense, but who we truly are: our personality traits, the way we think, our abilities, capabilities, our drive, passion, intelligence – all the intangible things, the ones that you cannot see. In that sense, wouldn’t each of us accomplish more than we have because gender stereotyping wouldn’t exist? We would be promoted based on our merits. We would be treated based on who we are as human beings and not by our male or female identity. We would then be labeled as human rather than divided and seen as male or female humans.

We need to embrace gender fluidity. It actually means that one’s gender expression or identity changes over time and frequently. At one moment in your life, you may feel more masculine and at another feel more feminine. But the kind of gender fluidity I’m referring to differs slightly. We may have been born with a specific gender, and we may also continue to be happy and be aligned with that gender, but that shouldn’t limit us or force us to see the world by two species as females and males. In one article, the author stated that science doesn’t look at gender as binary. In fact, it’s not static. The kind of gender fluidity I’m looking for is where we see a world of human beings based on who they are and not on forming their genitalia. In other words – learning to be gender fluid in our thinking.

We are more than our gender roles and stereotypes. Whether I have feminine or masculine traits or habits, we should not be defined by those traits. Instead, we should be defined by more intrinsic elements like empathy, understanding, etc. Yes, I biologically identify as a female, but my actions are both male and female – technically human. Chivalry is often associated with a male quality, but why can’t it be a human quality? Why must males and females have such different qualities and endure such comparisons? Why do we refer to something as more masculine or feminine? Can’t it be known as humanness instead?

If aggression is a predisposition of a male, why do aggressive women exist? If empathy is a predisposition of a woman, why do empathetic men exist? Yes, we may come down to majority vs. minority in predisposition. Still, I also see that we can learn aggression and empathy, as seen in the social learning theory. Do I cease to exist as a female because I get angry? How can we determine that when anger is human emotion? No emotion is female or male-centric. Instead, we have assumed and believed that it is so because society has iterated this for thousands of years, mainly to keep us within our gender roles. If we keep telling males that boys don’t cry, they learn that gender roles specify that boys don’t or cannot cry. It is unbecoming of a male to cry. But no one says that of a female because it’s acceptable for women to be seen as emotional and weak. By having this binary division of sexes, we put tremendous pressure on males and females to perceive the world based on their sex and fit into something they truly belong to.

Embracing gender-fluid thinking will enable the younger generation to think beyond the limitations of the sexes. Our sense of self and accomplishments shouldn’t derive from one factor: male or female. We may have determined biological sex – of course, in that sense, we have some limitations, but those limitations are only on a biological or physical scale. In the biological/physical sense, the female gender has the ability to give birth, but this biological characteristic is only mechanical. That act doesn’t make females more feminine. What makes us feminine or masculine is how we perceive gender. Think about it. Do you want to bring up your child by instilling and forcing their gender on themselves, and thereafter lead them to believe that gender is what makes them lucky in life and or do you want to bring up your child by instilling in them that gender is irrelevant to how you lead your life?

We often see these differences in the types of profession and higher management access. Females are associated with nurturing jobs such as teaching or nursing, while males are associated with technological or high-skill jobs such as business or engineering. The problem isn’t that females cannot be good in business or engineering or that males cannot be good in nursing or teaching. It’s a problem created by a society that has dictated what is considered good and bad professions for females and males alike. We see jobs as males and females and not as human jobs. We also connect credibility and superiority with men and hence place them in jobs of that nature. I should pursue any education or job based on what I like and what I, as a human, determine is good for me. It should not be determined by my gender, by society’s false idea of what it truly means to be female or male. Even small things like wearing heels denote gender differences. Why can’t males wear heels today when males once wore them as a sign of virility and masculinity?

What about perfume? Females are often associated with fruity perfumes while males with strong perfumes. These small characterizations of what a man or woman should be are hurting us and our chances of having a good life. No person should be laughed at or deprived of anything based on gender. Instead, we should be able to make it in the world on who we are as a person.

Take gender out of your thinking and instead think like a human. Be one.